to surrender?

"There are various types of infinite. The highest conception of the infinite is: He is so beautiful and attractive that He is attracting all to surrender to Him." - Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaja

how do i surrender?

"anukulyasya sankalpah, pratikulya-vivarjjanam
raksisyatiti visvaso, goptrtve varanam tatha
atma-niksepa karpanye, sad-vidha sarnagathi"

"Acceptance of those things favorable to devotional service, the rejection of unfavorable things, the conviction that Krsna will give me protection, the acceptance of Krsna as one's guardian or master, full self-surrender, and humility are the six types of surrender." - Hari-bhakti-vilasa

by mercy of sri guru and vaisnavas maybe one day....

Help me see YOU in everything and everything in
YOU;
When will I appreciate all that YOU do?
Even pain in this world is to help us see the reality
of material misery.
Please help me transcend, I want it to end.
Happiness without YOU, I can only pretend.
And 'cause YOU'RE so kind, YOU give us a mind to
choose to love YOU or leave YOU behind.
Forgetting reality, we create this duality.. and I'm
sick of this fallacy...... - Saranagati by Shelter

please open my eyes...

another one...

on the pic:Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti and his godbrother Tripurari Swami (also my dear siksa-guru)

i just got in contact again with a dear friend Pancatattwa das he is disciple of my very dear siksa guru Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti and i got lots of great links from pancatattwa!
one is http://www.asktheswami.org such a nice Q&A site...check it out!
here is a link to pancatattwa's blog: http://pancatattwa.blogspot.com/

"But what does it mean to live an enlightened life? An enlightened life does not mean closing the eyes and seeing nothing but light. An enlightened life means enlightened actions and efforts. That is what spiritual life is all about. There are no borders and walls to stop your love and mercy."

next summer im going to sweden to meet Swami B.A. Paramadvaiti!!!this time im really going and im taking mohan with me!!! :)

something i have forgotten...

jay!
so here is the picture of my lord shiva altar that i said that i will post!
from left to right:
tilak paste(gopi chandan),lord ganesha in his baby form with a sweet in his hand,my japa bag and my other kuntimalas,sri shiva lingam and picture of lord jagannath that i couldnt fit on the main altar!
behind are pictures of:
my favorite picture of little ganesha hugging shiva lingam(i have it also as a big poster on my wall),family of lord shiva and durga devi!

vyasa-puja

i just checked www.scsmath.com and my gurudevas vyasa-puja fest starts on the 16th the same day as my 30 birthday!!! ;) so its mahamahavyasapuja!!
and this means that i will have to write vyasa-puja offering...oh..

more later when i have an inspiration...

"Who is a guru? Only one who will exclusively guide me to Krsna and Mahaprabhu, with devotion. he is my guru, whatever he may be."-srila b.r.sridhar maharaja

late night...

im sitting on my sofa and listening to some krsna internet radio...some nice bhajans.basic bhajans,no newage whalesounds or other computer wierdness! :) sri gurvastakam is playing now...
im supposed to be in bed sleeping,not here on the computer.im hyper active now cause,i was at a punkshow today.its like a great noisy kirtan where you can shout the lyrics as loud as possible.you can roar like lord narasimhadeva! :) make the earth rumble.

"Then from within the pillar came a fearful sound, which appeared to crack the covering of the universe. O my dear Yudhishthira, this sound reached even the abodes of the demigods like Lord Brahma, and when the demigods heard it, they thought, "Oh, now our planets are being destroyed!""-SB.7.8.15

maybe oneday my shouts to the lord will be heard?but i dont think that my shouts will scare lord brahma!! :D

one thing that im waiting now is that my dear dear friend mohan/miikka will come to my place next week and he will stay here for maybe 5 days?!? :D we are gonna stay up late and listen to some "great"music and of course we will try to worship lord krsna somehow?we normally try to offer some prasadam and just stare 'em... :)

jay sri sri gaura-nitai ki-jay!

"The bhakti-yoga we are teaching in this Krsna consciousness movement twenty-four hours' engagement. Superficially we engage from four o'clock in the morning till ten o'clock at night, and that is resting time. But when one is advanced in devotional service, while sleeping he also serves Krsna. That means twenty-four hours, satatam. ...in sleeping you also dream, so what we do during daytime we dream at night."
Srila Prabhupada Lecture on Srimad-Bhagavatam, 11-11-76, Vrindaban
...maybe oneday...

i end this tired writing here.

ps."Whoever sincerely will help me to go towards Krsna, he is siksa guru."-srila b.r.sridhar maharaja
so i will need your help.be my siksa guru!