jay sri narasimhadeva !!!

check this video(and other videos too) :
trip to ahobilam ! ! ! !
the video is about all the different forms of lord narasimhadeva in ahobilam!!!

varaha-vamana-nrisimha-subhagyam isham
krida-vilola-hridayam vibhudendra-vandyam
hamsatmakam paramahamsa-mano-viharam
vande kripa-nidhim ahobala-narasimham

"I offer my obeisances to that ocean of mercy, Ahobala Nrisimha. He is the all-fortunate supreme Lord: Varaha, Vamana, and Nrisimha. His heart is frolicking with his own playful pastimes. The most intelligent persons pray to him, the Supreme soul, who fascinates the great sages."

vyasapuja time...

so today is my gurudeva's birthday...JAY JAY JAY!!! :)
Sri Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj happy happy birthday!!!

sri-guru-carana-padma, kevala-bhakati-sadma,
bando mui savadhana mate
jahara prasade bhai, e bhava toriya jai,
krsna-prapti hoy jaha ha'to
The lotus feet of our spiritual master are the only way by which we can attain pure devotional service. I bow to his lotus feet with great awe and reverence. By his grace one can cross the ocean of material suffering and obtain the mercy of Krsna.

jay hanuman ki -JAY!!!!

this really sweet sloka is from ramayana:

Yatra Yatra Raghunath Kirtanam Tatra Tatra Krita Mastaka anjalim Bashpawari Pari purna lochanam Marutim nammascha rakshas antakam

That wherever the deeds of Sri Rama are sung, At all such places does Hanuman cry tears of devotion and joy, At all such places does his presence remove the fear of demons.

guru is my guide.

one of my favorite sites...verandaviews

ekaki amara, nahi paya bala,
hari-nama-sankirtane
tumi krpa kori: sraddha-bindu diya,
deho' krsna-nama-dhane
I do not find the strength to carry on alone the sankirtana of the holy name of Hari. Please bless me by giving me just one drop of faith with which to obtain the great treasure of the holy name of Krsna

i pray that all my dear friends will find a guide,who will help them find an easier way
out of this maze that we call life.

www.weare108.com

I remember when you cried, with your eyes on fire. With the gale in your lungs, scream your throat red but now it’s getting colder… what happened to you?  deathbed. You’re on your deathbed I remember when you laughed with that sunlight on your lips, Sun rising smile on your early morning smile but you’re not waking up this time… breathless cries over lifeless eyes  your bodies here, but your not  That thing that screamed with me and dreamed with me, that thing that laughed with me and cried with me. That same thing lies before me on this deathbed, but where are you?  you're not on your deathbed. -108:deathbed

tomorrow i will jump to allnight boat with couple of my dear friends...just to see 108.
and meet rasaraja.
punkrock rules.

remember...

...we are just trying to get out....

I'm living in the material world
Living in the material world
I hope to get out of this place
by the LORD SRI KRSNA'S GRACE
My salvation from the material world
Big Ending

jay radhe jay vrindavana

jay radhe jay vrindavan lyrics

and download some nice mp3's here!!!
and mosh to the sounds....hihi...

jay sri radhe.

tapta-kancana-gaurangi radhe vrndavanesvari
vrsabhanu-sute devi pranamami hari-priye
I offer my respects to Radharani, whose bodily complexion is like molten gold and who is the Queen of Vrndavana. You are the daughter of King Vrsabhanu, and You are very dear to Lord Krsna.

kitchen religion

i just watched an about 30minutes long video of devotees distributing prasadam at the rainbow gathering in USA. krishna camp video one of the highlights of the video is when this older man tells that when he was 9(or 8) he met prabhupada and got a cookie from him. :) this video brought some nice memories when i was distributing prasadam at the rockfestivals with the local devotees.i loved it.nothing better then seeing a happy face and plate full of prasadam while they say that they've been waiting a year to eat krishna food!!! i remember that we distributed allmost around the day...it was so crazy.you knew that you were tired as hell but still got the power to give some prasadam to the kids. i dont think that devotees of the temple go to the festivals anymore...i think bookdistribution has taken over...prasadam distribution... :'( at the janmastami party that we had,i was distributing prasadam to the guests and for me thats better than getting your belly full of prasadam...i've did at the festivals at the temple,cause there i knew that i wouldnt get allmost any prasadam cause they are not that fond of vegans...so i substituted it by serving prasadam to the devotees and got full of krsnas mercy that way!!! KRISHNA PRASADAM KI-JAY!!!!!

SRI KRISHNA JANMASTAMI

"By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see" - bhakta george harrison

memorylane

memorylane...
i just fell into nice memories while i put sri sri gauranitai to their altar...then i started to check out some old deityphotos and stuff that i have...i found this really nice pic of radha-krsna... little tear appeared to my eye...i felt happy,but sad...maybe it was separation or some crazyness...
this week is sri krsna janmastami and my dear friend mohan will come to my place from wednesday to sunday...so lots of sleepless nights and stupid talks...and i think there might be some KC in there too??! :)
but now i go...more later...

luv.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME

"In our Temples all Europeans, Indians, Mohammedans, Christians, everyone is welcome. And our presentation is so nice that everyone will be attracted to accept it because we are preaching love of God. Love of God is the prime function of all living entities, without any sectarian understanding."

(Srila Prabhupada letter, 29th January, 1970)

still with krsna

hari hari! bifale janama gonainu
manusya-janama paiya, radha-krsna na bhajiya,
janiya suniya bisa khainu
O Lord Hari I have spent my life uselessly. Having obtained a human birth and having not worshiped Radha and Krsna, I have knowingly drunk poison.

"whats your pleasure sir?!?"

Jiv Jago:by Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur

1 jiv jago, jiv jago, gauracanda bole kota nidra jao maya-pisacira kole
2 bhajibo boliya ese samsara-bhitare bhuliya rohile tumi avidyara bhare
3 tomare loite ami hoinu avatara ami bina bandhu ara ke ache tomara
4 enechi ausadhi maya nasibaro lagi' hari-nama maha-mantra lao tumi magi'
5 bhakativinoda prabhu-carane pariya sei hari-nama-mantra loilo magiya
1) Lord Gauranga is calling, "Wake up, sleeping souls! Wake up, sleeping souls! How long will you sleep in the lap of the witch called Maya?
2) You have forgotten the way of devotional service and are lost in the world of birth and death.
3) I have descended just to save you; other than Myself you have no friend in this world.
4) I have brought the medicine that will wipe out the disease of illusion from which you are suffering. Take this maha-mantra--Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare."
5) Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura says: "I fall at the Lord's feet, having taken this maha-mantra."

--------------------------

the first line of this song is really good eye opener.we have been sleeping but still it is hard to keep our eyes open and fall back to the lap of maya.
we should all take the wake up pill that lord gauranga has brought to us or we will get hit in the head by lord nityananda!!! hari-nama-mantra...thats a medicine that makes everyone mad who recieves it.
i pray that all my dear friends would get hit in the head with lord nityanandas cane and recieve this madness...maybe then they will understand why i worship the "blue dude"!?!?

"Well initiation or no initiation, first thing is knowledge... knowledge. Initiation is formality. Just like you go to a school for knowledge, and admission is formality. That is not very important thing."
Srila Prabhupada Press Interview, 10-16-76, Chandigarh

Prayer to the Lotus Feet of Krsna

i remember that long long time ago i was reading prabupada book in the bus and when i got to this on the next busstop one man walked in with a t-shirt that had RADHA-KRISHNA picture on it and HARE-KRISHNA written under it...
PRAYER TO THE LOTUS FEET OF KRSNA
I emphatically say to you, O brothers, you will obtain your good fortune from the Supreme Lord Krsna only when Srimati Radharani becomes pleased with you.

Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur, who is very dear to Lord Gauranga, the son of mother Saci, is unparalleled in his service to the Supreme Lord Sri Krsna. He is that great saintly spiritual master who bestows intense devotion to Krsna at different places throughout the world.

By his strong desire, the holy name of Lord Gauranga will spread throughout all the countries of the Western world. In all the cities, towns and villages on the earth, from all the oceans, seas, rivers and streams, everyone will chant the holy name of Krsna.

As the vast mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu conquers all directions, a flood of transcendental ecstacy will certainly cover the land. When all the sinful, miserable living entities become happy, the Vaisnava's desire is then fulfilled.

Although my Guru Maharaja ordered me to accomplish this mission, I am not worthy or fit to do it. I am very fallen and insignificant. Therefore, O Lord, now I am begging for Your mercy so that I may become worthy, for You are the wisest and most experienced of all.

If You bestow Your power, by serving the spiritual master one attains the Absolute Truth -- one's life becomes successful. If that service is obtained, then one becomes happy and gets Your association due to good fortune.

evam janam nipatitam prabhavahikupe
kamabhikamam anu yah prapatan prasangat
krtvatmasat surarsina bhagavan grhitah
so 'ham katham nu visrje tava bhrtya-sevam

"My dear Lord, O Supreme Personality of Godhead, because of my association with material desires, one after another, I was gradually falling into a blind well of snakes, following the general populace. But Your servant Narada Muni kindly accepted me as his disciple and instucted me how to achieve this transcendental position. Therefore, my first duty is to serve him. How could I leave his service?" (Prahlada Maharaja to Lord Nrsimhadeva, Srimad-Bhagavatam, 7.9.28)

O Lord Krsna, You are my eternal companion. Forgetting You, I have suffered the kicks of maya birth after birth. If today the chance to meet You occurs again, then I will surely be able to rejoin You.

O dear friend, in Your company I will experience great joy once again. In the early morning I will wander about the cowherd pastures and fields. Running and frolicking in the many forests of Vraja, I will roll on the ground in spiritual ecstacy. O when will that day be mine?

Today that remembrance of You came to me in a very nice way. Because I have a great longing I called to You. I am Your eternal servant and therefore I desire Your association so much. O Lord Krsna, except for You there is no other means of success.

Cry before Krishna. Only He can help you to find a sadhu.

srila gour govinda maharaja

How to Find a Sadhu?

Questions and Answers with

Sri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja

Devotee: How does one recognize a sadhu?

Gour Govinda Swami: Cry before Krishna. Only He can help you to find a sadhu. You can’t recognize a sadhu. You have no vision to see the sadhu. If you try by yourself to recognize sadhu, then you will be cheated. If you are serious, then cry before Him. “O Krishna! I am your servant!”

ay nanda-tanuja kinkaram

patitam mam visame bhavambudhau

krpaya tava pada-pankaja-

stita-dhuli-sadrsam vicintaya

Mahaprabhu has taught us this. This is crying before Krishna. “O nanda-tanuja, son of Nanda Maharaja, I am your kinkara, your sevant. Somehow or other I am fallen here in this dreadful ocen of material existence and I have been drowning from time immemorial. But I want to serve you. How can I serve you? How can I become a speck of dust at Your lotus feet? Please help me.” Just cry. Without the help of sadhu you cannot approach Krishna. You can’t utter Krishna’s name. When you cry like that, Krishna is there in your heart as paramatma. He will say, “Oh now he is crying for Me.” Then he makes an arrangement.

This is the proper way. If by your own effort you try to recognize a sadhu, you will be cheated. You can’t see a sadhu. You have no vision at all. You see only all outward, external things. You can’t see the real thing. There are many persons who are only outwardly sadhus. You will be enchanted by their external activities: “Oh, he is a great sadhu! Yes, he is producing gold!” You will be cheated.

You can’t get a real sadhu [in this way]. A real sadhu is one who is competely absorbed in Krishna, day and night, twenty-four hours. He has gotten Krishna. He is with Krishna. He can give you Krishna. You can’t see him. You have no vision. Only you can cry for Krishna from the core of your heart. This is not an external cry. It is internal. Then Krishna, who is in your heart, will see that you are crying and he will help you. He will make arrangement for you to meet such a sadhu. That is the arrangement of Krishna. When you meet such a person you will feel some spontaneous attraction from the core of your heart. That attraction is the proof.

Devotee: To meet a sadhu is so rare. How can one get the opportunity?

Gour Govinda Swami: It’s a fact that it is rare, but if you are really crying for it then Krishna can make an arrangement. It is impossible for you, but nothing is impossible for Krishna.

--Home program in Vancouver, Canada: May 1993

"Sam'i Allahu liman hamidah, Rabbana wa lakal hamd"

"God hears those who call upon Him; Our Lord, praise be to You"
why i start with this basic islam prayer???
i just stopped watching program called 30days after the program i noticed that my eyes were in tears...episodes name was:muslims and america.in it a basic christian redneck american goes to live in a muslim family for 30days doing everything they do.in the end of the show he was really positive about islam and the people.he had firm faith in jesus,but now he can understand others too!!!

and why we servants of krishna dont work together?!?because we forget the basic teachings of sri chaytanya mahaprabhu and take politics into the religion.

trinad api sunichena
taror api sahishnuna
amanina manadena
kirtaniyah sada harih

One should chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street; one should be more tolerant than a tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige, and should be ready to offer all respect to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly.

NARASIMHA-CHATURDASI KI-JAY!!!!!!

so today is narasimha-chaturdasi here!!!first thing that came to my mind today was that "i cant fast cause i will get superduper headache and i have to work!"(pretty good...hehe) so i went to the fridge and found 3 apples and cucumber!i cut 'em nice and offered them to sri laksmi-narasimha and sri yoga-narasimha!!before doing the offering i put on Sri Narasimha Stotravali by Sri Vidyabhusana
(get it from MALOLA ) such a nice cd!
Vedan samastan khalu shastragarbhan

vidyam balam kirtimatim cha lakshmim

yasya prasadat purusha labhante

tam narasimham sharanam gato shmi

I have taken shelter of Lord Nrisimha by whose mercy people receive all the Vedas, the essence of all scriptures, knowledge, strength, reputation and wealth. - by LORD RAMACHANDRA

now i have to think how to get to the narasimha-chaturdasi party tomorrow...damn...

edit.update: im going there with sri bhrigupada dasa prabhuji on a bus!wohoo..im gonna see bhrigu sleeping with his japabeads in hand(again,he does it everytime in a bus!!!).
im so happy that im not gonna miss this years party...jay jay...

jayananda dasa thakur

jayananda dasa thakurs disappearance day!!!!check out the website.

Initiation LA 12-11-68

Prabhupada: (chuckles) Jayananda looks like Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. (laughter) Yes. He was tall and stout and strong, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. (laughing) Yes. Very good. And in Vrndavana, when Kirtanananda was given sannyasa, he was looking so nice with this dress and danda, oh, practically all the devotees of Vrndavana came to offer him respect. Yes. On Janmastami day I offered him sannyasa. So many devotees came to see in the temple. So there was a big crowd. He was looking very nice. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was also very fair-complexioned. So with this dress, persons with fair complexion looks very nice, very attractive. People are not attracted with this dress in kirtan party? (laughs) This bare head with tilak and this dress, they will know that they are coming from, directly from the kingdom of God. (laughs) Actually it is so. They have forgotten God; otherwise they would have received these brahmacharis so nicely. In India, oh, you'll be received just like gods with this dress. Hundreds and thousands of people will come to receive you. Yes. That is sufficient...

Falling on the ground, I will roll about at the door of Sri Narasimha's temple.

today i changed clothes of sri sri gaura-nitai and put some pearls around lakshmi-narasimhadeva and yoga-narasimhadeva!!!!
here is the latest picture.i just took it some minutes ago.
in the middle of nitai and gauranga you can see the picture of the local iskcon sri sri gaura-nitai,that i have been writing here many many times!
on that picture they are still on the old altar.now they have a new altar.picture of it here...

as narasimha-chaturdasi is getting close,i've been doing some googling to check out different writings and pictures of lord narasimhadeva!
here's a really nice article that also includes srila bhaktivinoda thakur's narasimhadeva writings from sri navadvipa bhava taranga:
worship of lord narasimhadeva by swami b.g.narasingha maharaja
and heres some prayers to lord narasimhadeva
i'll end this to familiar namaste narasimhaya song,wich i didnt know had one more verse!!! :)

"In His mouth the goddess Suddha-Sarasvati is always present, on His chest laksmi-devi always resides, and within His heart special affection for His devotees is always manifest – I worship that Nrsimhadeva"

The lotus feet of Sri Rupa Manjari are my treasure,my devotional service,and my object of worship.

hari haribol!
im listening to RASA :sri rupa manjari is on now...
"Your absence from my vision is like a dose of strong poison, and I will suffer till the end of my life. Narottama dasa Thakura says: "Please give me your mercy and the shade of your lotus feet."

my crazy dreams keep on going...
in one i was at the local temple and it looked like a library with lots of books around it.there was bigger hall where all the devotees were.it was narasimha chaturdasi or that is what i though...when i went to see the abhiseka i saw devotees bathing deity of radharani...radha was alone there...there was no narasimhadeva deity or even altar...
wonder if i was hippie in my last life and did lots of LSD!?!? cause these dreams are getting pretty far out,dude!!! ;)

this weekend there's going to be narasimha-chaturdasi!!! im waiting for it...but thats one of the festivals that when i would love be at the local temple,cause thats the festival when everybody just go crazy and the kirtans arent too mellow either..heh...but this time im going to krsangis and kamalaksas place and i think that i will take my big lakshmi-narasimha deity with me.he normally doesnt travel with gaura-nitai and yoga-narasimhadeva,maybe this time he should?!? ;)
i found this nice bhajan from Krishna Kirtana Songs website:

Narasimha Sahasra Nama Stotram
Author: Vyasadeva
Book Name: Brahmanda Purana

LYRICS
om nrsimha namah om mahasimha namah
om divyasimha namah om malabala namah
om ugrasimha namah om mahadeva namah
(refrain) jaya narasimha sri narasimha jaya jaya narasimhadeva
praladesa jaya padma mukha padma bhrnga
(1)
narasimha mahasimha divya simha mahabalah
ugra simha mahadeva stambajas cogralocana
(2)
raudra sarva bhuta sriman yoganandas trivikrama
harim kolahalas cakri vijayo jaya vardhana
(3)
nititlaksa sahasrakho durniriksayaha pratapana
maha damastra yudhah prajnasa candakopi sadasiva
(4)
hiranyaka nisudhana daitya danava bhanjana
gina bhadro maha bhadro bala bhadraha subhadraka
(5)
paramtattvam paramdhama sacidananda vigraha
laksmi narasimha sarvatma dhira prahalada palakah

TRANSLATION
Refrain: Glories to Lord Nrsimha, Sri Nrsimha, All Glories to Lord Nrsimhadeva.
The Lord of Prahlada and, like a honeybee, is always engaged in beholding the lotuslike face of the goddess of fortune.
1) Half man, half lion. Great Lion, Transcendental Lion. Greatly Strong. Terrible Lion. Greatest of Demigods. Born of a pillar. Possessor of
fiery eyes
2) Angry one, the all wonderful who is accompanied by Laksmi. This blissful one in yoga. The tallest. Lord Hari, One who roars, The holder of Sudarsana, Ever Glorious, Always victorious
3) Whose eyes resemble seeds, thousand eyed one. Who is difficult to see, Chastiser of enemies, Possessor of great teeth. Expert in war. Who is angry at Canda ( a demon, brother of Pracanda ). Always auspicious
4) The killer of Hiranyakasipu. The threat to the daityas and the danavas. One with auspicious qualities. Greatly auspicious. Possessor of
auspicious strength. The very auspicious one.
5) The highest truth, The highest abode. Whose form is sacidaAnanda. Laksmi Narasimha, the protector of Prahlada.

until next time dear friends...

Seeing a Vaisnava devotee, I will fall at his lotus feet, knowing him to be the only true friend of my heart.

once again i saw dream of the sri sri gaura-nitai at the local temple...this time i was taking darshan of them in front of the altar...

oh,dear devotee!i wish that one day i will be just like you,serve krsna like you,chant my rounds like you and then i will run after you like srila bhaktivinoda thakur sings in the OHE,VAISNAVA THAKUR:
Krsna is yours! You have the power to give Krsna! I am nothing more than a beggar
running behind you, calling out “Krsna! Krsna!”
and maybe then i will see a little glimse of how to serve krsna the right way?!?

this song also shows us how important caitanya mahabrabhu is to us...
Kabe Aha Gauranga Boliya by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura

(1)
kabe aha gauranga boliya
bhojane-sayane,deher jatana,
chadibo birakta hana
(2)
nabadvipa dhame,nagare nagare,
abhiman parihari'
dhamabasi-ghare,madhukari lobo'
khaibo udar bhari'
(3)
nadi-tate giya,anjali anjali,
pibo prabhu-pada-jala
taru-tale podi'alasya tyajibo,
paibo sarire bala
(4)
kakuti koriya,'gaura-gadadhara',
'sri-radha-madhava'nama
kandiya kandiya,daki ucca-rabe
bhramibo sakala dhama
(5)
baisnaba dekhiya,padibo carane,
hrdayer bandhu jani'
baisnaba thakura,'prabhur kirtana'
dekhaibe das mani'
TRANSLATION
1) Alas. . .what sorrow I am expressing! When will I ever take the name of Gauranga and become disgusted with sense gratification, giving up all bodily endeavors for eating and sleeping?
2) And when will ever wander from village to village in Sri Navadvipa-dhama, completely giving up my false ego? I will beg madhukari from the homes of dhama-basis, and thus I will fill my belly.
3) Sometimes I will wander to the bank of the Ganga, and if I feel thirsty, then I will drink that sacred water that has washed the lotus feet of the Lord, palmful by palmful. If I fell tired, I will simply fall down under the nearest tree. When I feel enough strength, i will give up my idleness and continue wandering here and there.
4) In a mood of humble solicitation I will call out loudly the names of "Gaura-Gadadhara" and 'Sri-Radha-Madhava', and thus weeping and weeping I will wander throughout the entire dhama.
5) Seeing a Vaisnava devotee, I will fall at his lotus feet, knowing him to be the only true friend of my heart. Accepting me as his servant, the most revered devotee will then reveal to me the most confidential kirtana used for worshiping the Lord.

computer problems...

sorry my dear readers that i havent written here in a while...
my laptops fan broke so he has been at the computer doctor for sometime now...
tomorrow i will get it back hopefully...thats what the doctor said to me!!
remember that krsna is with us EVEN when we dont have our computers working!!! :D

prahlada-hridayahladam
bhaktavidya-vidaram
sharad-indu-ruchim vande
parindra-vandanam harim
"Let me offer my obeisances unto Lord Nrisimhadeva who is always enlightening Prahlada Maharaja within his heart and who always kills the nescience that attacks the devotees. His mercy is distributed like the moonshine, and His face is like that of a lion. Let me offer my obeisances unto Him again and again."

krishna works in mysterious ways....

i left from work and allready listening to one of my favorite cd's vaiyasaki das:way of love.wich starts with this:
gopinath, mama nivedana suno
visayi durjana, sada kama-rata,
kichu nahi mora guna
O Gopinatha, Lord of the gopis, please hear my request. I am a wicked materialist, always addicted to worldly desires, and no good qualities do I possess.
as i walked and listened to the song singing to it...i started to i should take out my japamala wich i have with me in my bag...i heard a familiar sound shouting:"X,X,hey X!!!" and instantly i knew that its an old devotee from the local(iskcon)temple.before we started talking next song started at my cd-player(yes i dont own a IPOD)and i starts like this:"i am not able to get the darshan of lord nityananda or lord caytanya,o fickle mind,even though i decorate my entire body with holy tilak" we started talking about how things are,then to how gaura purnima festival went at the temple.we talked lots about how it is so hard for us finnish people to understand the importance of just helping out others,like at the festivals just peel some potatoes,rather then to just wait for the prasadam to appear infront of us.then we talked how it is so hard to get all this dirt away so we can get krsna into our hearts and not just think about all the material things...song continues in my other ear:"before you worship lord caitanya with loving dedication,the mind must be pure." we talked how people in india are born with god conciouness and how humble they are compared to us cold finnish people.he said that when he was india people saw his orange clothes and wanted him to come to their houses to take darshan of their deity and take some prasadam...and then came the big question to me:"you should come to temple and take the darshan of the deitys and visit us?!?" and i said that:"but im not really wanted there!?" i saw an open mouth...then i explained what had happened...after while he said to me:"no one should be banned from taking darshan of deitys!"he and i understood that there might be some philosophical differences etc.but still to get the darshan is the most important thing!rather than some politics.(i had to bite my lip so i wouldnt shed any tears,i just felt good talking,i just felt my heart melting...)we talked lots about just judging people before even talking to them face to face.we talked about prabhupada.we talked about lord caitanya that he didnt care what kinda people came to see him,he gave them darshan and chance to sing the holyname...in all we standed in freezing cold infront of mcdonalds talking about krsna for half an hour before our ways parted...he said that he will come to visit me at my work.i've known this devotee since the first days that i entered the temple...
last sentence of NITAI MILE NA: "our merciful nityananda resides in the home of that person who adores eternal devotional activities.one's devotional service increases after crying out for his mercy,and one's sadhana becomes completely successful"
i dont know if i ever get the darshan of sri sri gaura-nitai at the temple but this little talk just made me feel lot better...i think that there still is some heart in human beings,even though we are not all the same!

ps.i remember when i yesterday opened my altars door and in the middle of sri sri gaura nitai is the picture of the temple's gaura-nitai...i remember thinking how they look at the festivals all garlanded and happy...by meeting this devotee today i got the darshan of them into my heart.

GOPINATH - by sri bhaktivinoda thakura
1) O Gopinatha, Lord of the gopis, please hear my request. I am a wicked materialist, always addicted to worldly desires, and no good qualities do I possess.
2) 0 Gopinatha, You are my only hope, and therefore I have taken shelter at Your lotus feet. I am now Your eternal servant.
3) 0 Gopinatha, how will You purify me? I do not know what devotion is, and my materialistic mind is absorbed in fruitive work. I have fallen into this dark and perilous worldly existence.
4) 0 Gopinatha, everything here is Your illusory energy. I have no strength or transcendental knowledge, and this body of mine is not independent and free from the control of material nature.
5) 0 Gopinatha, this sinner, who is weeping and weeping, begs for an eternal place at Your divine feet. Please give him Your mercy.
6) 0 Gopinatha, You are able to do anything, and therefore You have the power to deliver all sinners. Who is there that is more of a sinner than myself?
7) 0 Gopinatha, You are the ocean of mercy. Having come into this phenomenal world, You expand Your divine pastimes for the sake of the fallen souls.
8) 0 Gopinatha, I am so sinful that although all the demons attained Your lotus feet, Bhaktivinoda has remained in worldly existence.

happy birthday gauranga mahaprabhu!!!

i wish that i could pray to lord gauranga like srila b.r.sridhar maharaja in his Sri Sri Prema Dhama Deva Stotram
Verse 70
prema hema-deva dehi-dasaresa manyatam
ksamyatam mahaparadha-rasiresa-ganyatam
rupa-kinkaresu ramananda dasa-sambharam
prema-dhama-devam eva naumi gaura-sundaram
O my golden Lord! O golden volcano of divine love! O ocean of unalloyed dedication! Kindly grant me your treasure of divine love! Please give some slight attention to this fallen soul and pardon his unlimited offenses. There are so many servants of Sri Rupa who are so dear to you. My only aspiration is that you count me as one of those servitors. O Gaurasundara, you are the sole protector and embodiment of good fortune for me, Ramananda dasa (Srila Bhakti Rakshak Sridhar Maharaj).
I fall at the feet of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, the golden volcano of divine love.
read or sing this today for sri sri gauranga mahaprabhu Sri Sri Prema Dhama Deva Stotram

ok.i will try to write something interesting here...
one day i was going to work.on the subway station there are three doors that you can exit.two that you have to open yourself and one that opens with magic!there was one young guy walking infront of me and first he skipped the openyourselfdoors(maybe he felt lazy?)and then he tried to go out from the magic door...door opened but the guy walked to the other side of it that didnt open...*BANG*...it took couple seconds for him to take couple steps to his left to get out!
i started to think that is it so hard to choose right from wrong?!?
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We must not make progress in
a slumber, but we must go forward
with our eyes always opened. Srila B.R.Sridhar Maharaja

Sri Caitanya glorifying Lord Shiva, from Sri Caitanya Carita Mahakavya

sri gaura-netrosava-maggalaya
tat-prana-nathaya rasa-pradaya
sada samutkantha-govinda-lila-
gana-pravinaya namo'stu tubhyam

"I offer my obeisances unto you, who are a festival of auspiciousness for the eyes of Goddess Gauri; unto you, who is the monarch of her life-breath; unto you, who is capable of bestowing transcendental rasa and unto you, who is expert in forever singing songs of the pastimes of Lord Govinda with great longing."

i know that noone is reading this blog so i can just copy/paste stuff here...

hangin tough...

im still alive...
im surviving...
im trying to bring more KRSNA to my life...
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vande shri-krishna-chaitanya-
nityanandau sahoditau
gaudodaye pushpavantau
chitra shandau tamo-nudau

"I offer my respectful obeisances unto Sri Krishna Caitanya and Lord Nityananda, who are like the sun and moon. They have arisen simultaneously on the horizon of Gauda to dissipate the darkness of ignorance and thus wonderfully bestow benediction upon all." (Cc.Adi.1.2.)

"Now just chant Hare Krishna."

su-nupura-ragjita-pada-padma
ksarat-sudha-bhritya-sukha-pradaya
vichitra-ratnaugha-vibhusitaya
premanam evadya harau videhi
"I offer my obeisances unto you, who brings happiness to your servitors, as you pour on them the liquid nectar from your two reddish lotus feet, which ring with charming anklebells. Obeisances unto you, who is adorned with an abundance of gems - please endow me with pure love for Lord Hari."-spoken by Sriman Caitanya Mahaprabhu

new post.
i think im just lost.
i've been listening to lots of different bhajans/kirtans/etc. lately while walking the dogs...after listening to punk/metal/hardcore at work for 7 hours,bhajans help me to relax.
maybe i'll put some nice bhajan mp3's and go to the bed...
and maybe tomorrow i will find my way out of this labyrinth of darkness...

jaya radha-madhava kunja-bihari
gopi-jana-vallabha giri-vara-dhari
yashoda-nandana braja-jana-ranjana
jamuna-tira-vana-chari

"Now just chant Hare Krishna."

nightmares...

nightmares are wierd...i dont normally remember my dreams but this one i do remember well...crazy...
in nightmares there are normally monters and stuff...but i had different stuff and i woke up heart pumping!!!
so lets start:
im in the templeroom of the local iskcon and talking to a lady devotee and thinking that"wow,they didnt throw me out!".same time there is arotik starting and its wierdly on the opposite site of the temple room.where prabhupada murti is.there are some deitys on the shelf...i didnt see them clearly.i remember seeing some figures...
just when the singing starts,devotee comes from the door and asks me to come and talk to him.i shout to him:"i miss the deitys so much!just let me see them!"just before i bow down i notice that everyone is sitting their backs to the deitys and altars curtains are closed?!im thinking"no darshan...".i bow down crying and say"jay sri guru and sri gauranga,jay all vaisnavas,all glories all glories all glories..." and leave...i meet couple old devotees and they happily greet me with "haribol!"...i cant find the devotee who asked me to leave...
and "*POF*!!!" i wake up...didnt get any sleep after this...

i just feel wierd after this...

posting is bad...

its been a while from the last post...i've been thinking of lots of different things to write here...but they dont seem to manifest into writing.only just ramblings in my brain and i know that if i write 'em here some of the stuff might offend others...so maybe later.

krishno mamaiva sarvatra
svasti kuryat shriya samam
tathaiva cha sada karshnihi
sarva-vighna-vinashanaha

"May Lord Krishna along with His beloved Radha bring about prosperity and auspiciousness at all times. In the same way may the devotee of Krishna, who is able to destroy all obstacles, always bring about auspiciousness." (Vishnu Yamala Samhita)

why oh why...do i feel like that im lost?

being or body?

108:Solitary
Condemned cell incarcerates me
No walls, no bars on this cage
It’s just “me”
The penitentiary is my “identity”
In this solitary
I learn what it’s like to be so
Alone
Crouched in a lonesome corner I shiver
Head faced to the wall my eyes
Glued to the mirror
Masculinity beats the living hell out of me
Vanity is only my reality
My only cold companion
Each moment without you I die
Each moment without you I die
Each moment without you I die
O, Krishna

it feels kinda stupid allways hyping bands...but without bands like shelter,prema or 108 i would never ever found krsna...

check out these:
interview with rob fish/rasaraja
kula shaker is back

just chant and be happy?

lately i've been listening to lots of bhakta george harrison's solo records.his lyrics are really nice.lots of krsna conciouness in them and some FAROUTDUDE-hippie stuff too! i'll put here some of my favorite lyrics from different songs:

"By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see"-"Awaiting On You All"

"I'm living in the material world
Living in the material world
I hope to get out of this place
by the LORD SRI KRSNA'S GRACE
My salvation from the material world
Big Ending"-"Living In The Material World"

"He whose eyes have seen
What our lives have been
And who we really are
It is 'He'
Jai sri krishna"-"It Is "He" (Jai Sri Krishna)"

"Oh Lord, won't you listen in to me now
Oh Love, I got to get me back to you somehow"-"Looking For My Life"

"But oh Lord we pay the price
With the spin of the wheel with the roll of the dice
Ah yeah you pay your fare
And if you don't know where you're going
Any road will take you there
And I've been traveling through the dirt and the grime
From the past to the future through the space and the time
Traveling deep beneath the waves
In watery grottoes and mountainous caves
But oh Lord we've got to fight
With the thoughts in the head with the dark and the light
No use to stop and stare
And if you don't know where you're going
Any road will take you there"-"Any Road"

last 2 lyrics were from his last record "brainwashed" wich his son finished cause bhakta george harrison had to go back to godhead before it got ready.some of the lyrics are really in the mood of waiting for the last breath...

bhakta george harrison KI-jay!

check out this nice site:
georgeharrison.com

harer nama harer nama harer namaiva kevalam
kalau nasty eva nasty eva nasty eva gatir anyatha

bhajagovindam bhajagovindam

Bhaja Govindam of Sri Shankaracharya
TEXT 1

Worship Govinda, Worship Govinda, Worship Govinda. Oh fool! Rules of Grammar will not save you at the time of your death.

TEXT 2

Oh fool! Give up your thrist to amass wealth, devote your mind to thoughts to the Real. Be content with what comes through actions already performed in the past.

TEXT 3

Do not get drowned in delusion by going wild with passions and lust by seeing a woman's navel and chest. Bodies are flesh, fat and blood. Do not fail to remember this again and again in your mind.

TEXT 4

Uncertain is the life of man as rain drops on a lotus leaf. Know that the whole world remains a prey to disease, ego and grief.

TEXT 5

So long as a man is fit and able to support his family, see the affection all those around him show. But no one at home cares to even have a word with him when his body totters due to old age.

TEXT 6

When one is alive, his family members enquire kindly about his welfare. But when the soul departs from the body, even his wife runs away in fear of the corpse.

TEXT 7

Childhood is lost in play. Youth is lost by attachment to woman. Old age passes away by thinking over many past things. Alas! hardly is there anyone who yearns to be lost in Parabrahman.

TEXT 8

Who is your wife? Who is your son? Strange is this samsara. Of whom are you? Where have you come from? Brother, ponder over these truths.

TEXT 9

From Satsanga comes non-attachment, from non-attachment comes freedom from delusion, which leads to self-settledness. From self-settledness comes Jivan Mukti.

TEXT 10

What good is lust when youth has fled? What use is a lake which has no water? Where are the relatives when wealth is gone? Where is samsara when the Truth is known?

TEXT 11

Do not boast of wealth, friends, and youth. Each one of these are destroyed within a minute. Free yourself from the illusion of the world of Maya and attain the timeless Truth.

TEXT 12

Daylight and darkness, dusk and dawn, winter and springtime come and go. Time plays and life ebbs away. But the storm of desire never leaves.

TEXT 13

This bouquet of twelve verses was imparted to a grammarian by the all-knowing Shankara, adored as the bhagavadpada.

TEXT 14

Oh mad man! Why this engrossment in thoughts of wealth? Is there no one to guide you? There is only one thing in three worlds that can save you from the ocean from samsara. Get into that boat of satsangha quickly.

TEXT 15

There are many who go with matted locks, many who have clean shaven heads, many whose hairs have been plucked out; some are clothed in saffron, yet others in various colors --- all just for a livelihood. Seeing truth revealed before them, still the foolish ones see it not.

TEXT 16

Strength has left the old man's body; his head has become bald, his gums toothless and leaning on crutches. Even then the attachment is strong and he clings firmly to fruitless hope.

TEXT 17

Behold there lies the man who sits warming up his body with the fire in front and the sun at the back; at night he curls up the body to keep out of the cold; he eats his beggar's food from the bowl of his hand and sleeps beneath the tree. Still in his heart, he is a wretched puppet at the hands of passions.

TEXT 18

One may go to the Ganga, observe fasts, and give away riches in charity! Yet, devoid of jnana, nothing can give mukthi even at the end of a hundred births.

TEXT 19

Take your residence in a temple or below a tree, wear the deerskin for the dress, and sleep with mother earth as your bed. Give up all attachments and renounce all comforts. Blessed with such vairagya, could any fail to be content?

TEXT 20

One may take delight in yoga or bhoga, may have attachment or detachment. But only he whose mind steadily delights in Brahman enjoys bliss, no one else.

TEXT 21

Let a man read but a little from the Gita, drink just a drop of water from the Ganga, worship Murari just once. He then will have no altercation with Yama.

TEXT 22

Born again, death again, birth again to stay in the mother's womb ! It is indeed hard to cross this boundless ocean of samsara. Oh Murari ! Redeem me through Thy mercy.

TEXT 23

There is no shortage of clothing for a monk so long as there are rags cast off the road. Freed from vice and virtue, onward he wanders. One who lives in communion with God enjoys bliss, pure and uncontaminated, like a child and as someone intoxicated.

TEXT 24

Who are you? Who am I? From where do I come? Who is my mother, who is my father? Ponder thus, look at everything as essenceless and give up the world as an idle dream.

TEXT 25

In me, in you and in everything, none but the same Vishnu dwells. Your anger and impatience is meaningless. If you wish to attain the quality of Vishnu soon, have Sama Bhaava always.

TEXT 26

Do not waste your efforts to win the love of or to fight against friend and foe, children and relatives. See yourself in everyone and give up all feelings of duality completely.

TEXT 27

Give up lust, anger, infatuation, and greed. Ponder over your real nature. Fools are they who are blind to the Self. Cast into hell they suffer there endlessly.

TEXT 28

Regularly recite from the Gita, meditate on Vishnu in your heart, and chant His thousand glories. Take delight to be with the noble and the holy. Distribute your wealth in charity to the poor and the needy.

TEXT 29

He who yields to lust for pleasure leaves his body a prey to disease. Though death brings an end to everything, man does not gives up the sinful path.

TEXT 30

Wealth is not welfare, truly there is no joy in it. Reflect thus at all times. A rich man fears even his own son. This is the way of wealth everywhere.

TEXT 31

Regulate the pranas, remain unaffected by external influences and discriminate between the real and the fleeting. Chant the holy name of God and silence the turbulent mind. Perform these with care, with extreme care.

TEXT 32

Oh devotee of the lotus feet of the Guru! May thou be soon free from Samsara. Through disciplined senses and controlled mind, thou shalt come to experience the indwelling Lord of your heart!

TEXT 33

Thus was a silly grammarian lost in rules cleansed of his narrow vision and shown the Light by Shankara's apostles.

TEXT 34

Worship Govinda, worship Govinda, worship Govinda, Oh fool! Other than chanting the Lord's names, there is no other way to cross the life's ocean.

retreat on thin ice

deitys:at the altar!
so i survived the winter retreat at the island and i got out before the ice melted around it!
its really odd that i felt like an outsider there..alltough all of 'em were my dear friends...but atleast did get to hangout with GNU/gurunistha das prabhuji!

...

this is the program that we were following:

3-4 AM Tripurari Maharaja bathes in the sauna
4-5:30 The boys take their bath
5:30-6 the ladies bathe
6 AM mangala arati
8 AM breakfast
10 AM morning lecture
12 AM noon arati
1-2 PM lunch
6 PM sundara arati
7 PM evenining lecture
8:30-9 PM evening snack

i did skip many breakfasts!i need sleep...zZz...
we had fun.there are lots of "funny" inside jokes i could write here...heh!
i cant really write anything about the lectures cause i my vegan brain has allready deleted half of the stuff!
we saw nice initiation seremony and tiina became Tadiya dasi!!!
we ate too much!
i will try to get more pics from somebody,i took only couple pics.
i try to write more stuff here...

just chant and be happy...hehe!