"Now just chant Hare Krishna."

su-nupura-ragjita-pada-padma
ksarat-sudha-bhritya-sukha-pradaya
vichitra-ratnaugha-vibhusitaya
premanam evadya harau videhi
"I offer my obeisances unto you, who brings happiness to your servitors, as you pour on them the liquid nectar from your two reddish lotus feet, which ring with charming anklebells. Obeisances unto you, who is adorned with an abundance of gems - please endow me with pure love for Lord Hari."-spoken by Sriman Caitanya Mahaprabhu

new post.
i think im just lost.
i've been listening to lots of different bhajans/kirtans/etc. lately while walking the dogs...after listening to punk/metal/hardcore at work for 7 hours,bhajans help me to relax.
maybe i'll put some nice bhajan mp3's and go to the bed...
and maybe tomorrow i will find my way out of this labyrinth of darkness...

jaya radha-madhava kunja-bihari
gopi-jana-vallabha giri-vara-dhari
yashoda-nandana braja-jana-ranjana
jamuna-tira-vana-chari

"Now just chant Hare Krishna."

nightmares...

nightmares are wierd...i dont normally remember my dreams but this one i do remember well...crazy...
in nightmares there are normally monters and stuff...but i had different stuff and i woke up heart pumping!!!
so lets start:
im in the templeroom of the local iskcon and talking to a lady devotee and thinking that"wow,they didnt throw me out!".same time there is arotik starting and its wierdly on the opposite site of the temple room.where prabhupada murti is.there are some deitys on the shelf...i didnt see them clearly.i remember seeing some figures...
just when the singing starts,devotee comes from the door and asks me to come and talk to him.i shout to him:"i miss the deitys so much!just let me see them!"just before i bow down i notice that everyone is sitting their backs to the deitys and altars curtains are closed?!im thinking"no darshan...".i bow down crying and say"jay sri guru and sri gauranga,jay all vaisnavas,all glories all glories all glories..." and leave...i meet couple old devotees and they happily greet me with "haribol!"...i cant find the devotee who asked me to leave...
and "*POF*!!!" i wake up...didnt get any sleep after this...

i just feel wierd after this...